Sex & The City

so, i just got back from watching "Sex and The City"... and, well, i've never watched the show before, and so, i didn't really want to go watch the movie either... but some of my girl friends wanted to, and so i thought, why not?

i'm glad i went. =]

the theater was PACKED with women... laughing women.. giggling women.. gossiping women.. happy women.. beautiful women. So many of them were dressed up (in heels and a cute dress).. and so many of them came in groups... it was like a huge girl's movie night out. and it wasnt only at THAT theater.. because we went to another one before that (but had to leave because they were sold out) and there were A LOT of "dressed up" women there too. there were so many happy faces. so many groups of men-less women. so many arms being linked by the same sex. it almost seemed like everyone had popped right out of the movie itself. at first i was a bit confused; i didn't understand what the big deal was. But then, it made me happy. =]

Personally, i don't think i get along well with too many girls, and so, usually i like to say that "i get along better with boys." Usually i think about how bitchy and moody women can be... how argumentive.. and competitive...ya know? but it's moments like these... when i see a whole bunch of women.. feeling BEAUTIFUL amongst eachother (with NO men).. being happy for the simple fact that they ARE women... that i remember how great women can be. women are fabulous =] i miss having sleepovers.. and going out with the girls.. feeling beautiful and seeing eachother as beautiful instead of thinking "damn it, she looks prettier than i do" and letting it ruin everything... and the more i think about it... it really doesn't have THAT much to do with what we're wearing that makes us feel beautiful during those moments... it has to do more with WHAT we're doing.. and WHO we're doing it with.. just being together as girls.. as women.. being able to let loose and be OURSELVES =] being OURSELVES is when we're most beautiful. being OURSELVES and not having to be judged for it, is when we're most happy. at this moment in time, i'm feeling very WOMANLY, and i like it =]

oh, and, the movie wasn't half bad. =] i enjoyed it.

so many problems.

today,

was such an emotional day. and it's not even close to ending yet.
So i'm sitting on the couch, crying and thinking about a situation that happened today... and i decide to turn the t.v. on... somehow i start to watch this movie called "Wah-Wah"... and the main character of the movie is this pretty cool teenage boy. He cries a little too, because of a situation HE is having... and i started thinking about how many people are crying this very second, or how many people are angry, how many people are sad, how many people feel hopeless, restless, or like they just can't take it anymore... all in this very second. i mean, what's the world population? 6? 7? billion...somewhere in between the two? Whatever, basically, there are a lot of people...

and i,
i,
am a VERY fortunate person.

I shouldn't really have much to complain about. And living the life that i'm living... i should be able to be helping out.. a LOT.. for the greater common good. And for a while, i did feel like i was being helpful... i was volunteering a lot... 3 days out of the week... and it felt good. but i haven't been doing much volunteering lately. and i'm not saying that volunteering the the ONLY way we can be helpful... there are lots of ways...all i'm saying is..

i want to be helpful. i want to help people in need. i want them to be able to be okay with life. we all have the same potential... we all START OUT with the same potential.. it's just that, sometimes we lose sight of our potential because of the things we have to go through in life. and it's funny, i mean, it's not like we get to really chose what life we're brought into.. like, what part of the world we're born into, or what family we're born into, what race, what class... we're sort of just..BORN. but anyway, i want to help. & i have to stop wasting so much time. there's a lot to be done.

there're people in need of a smile, people in need of a hug, people in need of hand, people in need of a push, people who need to be left alone...
there are places to be...
moments to be a part of...
things i am meant to be doing.

<3

multi-colored world

i had this really random, catchy song stuck in my head on the way to my lit class today... i was singing it to myself, and it put me in a really happy mood... and as soon as i sat down in my chair, a random poem started formulating in my head:

There i sat
bopping
and hum-
ming
and
tapping;
random melody i love.

The beat
cameoutofnowhere.
And suddenly

i wanted to gather all that
bumping and humming and tapping
and love
and shoveitintomyfist
and PUNCH out everything
bland and gray in the room... in the world...,
feeling the colors squirt and gush down
my hand,
between my fingers.
Smearing them with my hand,
against all the walls,
like a child with finger paints.

Multi-colored world,
thumping and pounding
from the never-ending
melodous beat of life.

<3

life is a poem.

so i was looking for background info on William Carlos William's "The Red Wheelbarrow" online... and a Youtube video came up, and i thought to myself, "what the heck? people made videos about the poem?"... and they were kind of boring, but somehow it lead me to this:







which is... a video on WCW's poem "This is Just to Say..." and.. when were talking about it in my lit class today, i started thinking about the title:
"THIS IS JUST TO SAY"... it's like... usually, when you say you're writing a poem, people might ask "oh, what are you writing about?" ... people, for some reason, sometimes expect so much from poetry.. sometimes people think poetry HAS to say something completely profound and enlightening... and yet.. with this poem, it's like, if someone were to ask Williams: "Oh, what are you writing your poem about?" and his response is simply "oh, this poem is just to say that i have eaten the plums that were in the icebox..." and i imagine the person who asked the question having a look of confusion on their face, like, "a poem that's purpose is to inform someone that you've eaten a plum?? what kind of a poem is THAT?"... and i think that the poem is a response to that question... it's saying that poems CAN be written JUST TO SAY something as simple as having eaten a plum... everything in life is worth having a poem written about it. Life itself is a poem...

This Is Just to Say...

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

<33

be safe.

so i was speeding to work from school the other day, as usual... There i was, constantly scanning the area in front of me, and the area in back of me through the rear view mirror in order to make sure that there were no cops around to pull me over...

and i started thinking to myself, wow, i'm pretty stupid. I mean, think about it; it's pretty unsafe to be speeding all the time.. and.. here i am, getting pissed off that there are so many cops around. Yeah, stupid cops, pulling people over, and by doing so, perhaps saving their lives, or the lives those driving around them. I mean, how annoying is that, right?! having your life saved? c'mon now. CERTAINLY annoying and unnecessary.

it's stupid. same thing goes for not your having your selt belt on. I mean, we get mad when we get tickets, and yeah they CAN get pretty pricey, which definitely seems unfair at times, but in the end, we're basically getting the ticket because we were being unsafe in someway. And yeah, some cops are dumb, but that's because of the fact that they're human, not that they're cops; it's better to say: some PEOPLE are dumb, and some of those people happen to be cops. rather than "some cops are dumb." So yes, i realize that SOME cops probably don't give a damn about your safety and are just interested in the joys of giving out a ticket. ..It may seem stupid to you, like, "i was only driving 3 blocks away to visit my friend, why is it a big deal that i didn't have my seat belt on" Or "it's a free country, if i want to endanger my life by not wearing my seat belt, i should be allowed to" .. in the end, either one is pretty stupid. I don't think that we take the time to realize that some of the simple things we do really actually endanger our lives... and i know, i know, life can be boring without risks. But there's a difference though... between risk taking and plain stupidity.

So anyway, i guess i'm going to try and not let the idea of the cops pulling me over get me as annoyed, because, in the end, it'd be my own fault if it happened anyway. I'm putting myself in a situation i don't want to be in, and only i have the power to remove myself from it... if i chose not to then i have no one to blame but myself. The same thing kinda goes along with my parents... like, the whole curfew thing... how they don't like me being out past 12. sometimes it makes me mad, but .. in the end, i realize they're doing it for my safety. it's understandable.