Laser Hair Removal REMOVING my dignity?

The first video is kinda hard to follow, so, if you don't have the time, it's better to just watch the second.

But anyway...i'm getting laser hair removal on my legs done... and the day that i went to my first treatment, i cried because i acknowledged that i was giving in to the pushes and pulls of society... but yeah...my first 2 treatments weren't that bad.. but my THIRD treatment (which was last weekend)...was painful. and it made me realize what a drastic affect society was having on me... here i am, causing my body pain just to "fit the picture" of what looks "pretty."...i felt really weak and sad. So, in my literature class, when we were talking about a certain character named Cocoa wanting her skin to be a certain color...it totally reminded me of that. I'm like Cocoa in that i want to look a way that i'm not. So anyway... the lady was "treating" me...and i told her that it hurt..so she lowered the "level"...and it kept hurting me...but she said "it's lower than the last time you came...if i lower it any more it won't have an affect on you." and so... in a sense, i wasn't letting my VOICE be heard. i TOLD her that it hurt...i FELT the pain...and yet i let her keep doing it simply because i figured "ok, she's the nurse, she knows what she's doing"...and then i realized i was crazy for thinking that. i mean, who knows my body better than i do? i'm the one feeling this.. it's MY BODY. i couldn't even muster up the courage to defend my OWN BODY. i was letting the power of my silence cause me physical pain. i was finally able to realize just how drastic my problem of not speaking up for myself is, and now that i have come to that realization, i think it'll be a little easier to try and over come it. All i had to do was say "STOP," and it would have stopped. but i didn't. I layed their silently... enduring the torture.. and then i burst into tears. it was uncontrollable. it felt horrible...not just the physical pain...but the idea of what i was doing to myself...what i had fallen to. i started thinking about everything...about how i don't speak up for myself. about how i let people's criticism bring me down so easily. about how people think they're always too this and too that...never really happy with themselves. and i thought to myself...never again will i make fun of someone.. because by doing that, i'm contributing to their insecurities. i'm really debating whether or not i want to follow through with the treatments... i mean, my parents already payed... but.. i dunno..

Life's crazy, and i think that sometimes people spend too much time criticizing how people look. "Oh god, she's FAT!" or "Why is she wearing those shoes with that dress? looks weird" ... you know what i mean. It's INSANE. who cares what people LOOK like, who cares how they DRESS. I think we need to learn to redefine Beauty.